


Life Is a Waiting Game

by HouserOfStories, xvivon



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Firebending & Firebenders, Gen, Mai (Avatar)-Centric, One Shot, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Zuko poor baby, chaotic collabs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27248119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HouserOfStories/pseuds/HouserOfStories, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xvivon/pseuds/xvivon
Summary: The rumours around what happened to him in the Agni Kai die down, and attention quickly shifts to something else. Another day, another scandal. Mai indulges herself sometimes, and wonders what his father really did to him. It never lasts for long.In the end, she never asks Azula; she’s decided she doesn’t want to know.
Relationships: Azula & Mai & Ty Lee, Mai & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 32





	Life Is a Waiting Game

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Lucy is so wonderfully talented and offered to collab with me, so here we are. We offer 1k of Mai angst, enjoy! :)
> 
> Hello, Xenia is _also_ incredibly talented and I had a blast writing with her!

Mai doesn’t see the Agni Kai, doesn’t smell burning flesh, doesn’t hear useless cries for mercy. Instead, she sits at home and wonders if Zuko will come out in an urn or at all. 

A little black bird flies past the window. She watches it idly, before a catowl swats it out of the air. It crushes the bird under its paws, and drags it away into the undergrowth of her mother’s perfectly manicured garden.

The house is silent, save for the soft footsteps of a maid. If she strains her ears, she can hear her washing dishes with the cook, and tries to remember either of their names. Her parents are away, standing and watching as Agni knows what happens to Zuko. Watching like it’s just another play or circus. When they return, her mother will twattle on like she always does and never let go of any useful information. Her father will smile thinly, and Mai will be left to grasp broken straws. Nothing will have changed. Outside, another bird flies across the garden, calling out. No answer comes.

The Agni Kai ends just after noon, and if Mai had ever seen one before, she would know it went too quick. However, being 11 years old and considerably sheltered, she watches people begin to trickle out of the palace and breathes a fragile sigh of relief. 

Her parents come back a little while later, conversing in hushed tones. It’s not quite what she expected; her mother speaks a little quieter, her father’s smile more of a frown. But when she asks tentatively, the pointless reassurances of, “Nothing for you to worry about,” reamerge. She doesn’t notice how the quiet chatter from the kitchen has stopped and the silence is thick with the sort of anxiety that comes from waiting. It’s over.

(It really, _really_ isn’t.)

***

It seems as if everyone but Mai has some insight into the situation. She might ask Azula the unnerving details later, as there’s no doubt that she’s been keeping her watchful eyes on Zuko’s suffering. Like that catowl, stalking its prey. 

Mai can’t help but be curious as to what’s happening, just like everyone who’s aware of the duel. If Zuko doesn’t make it out of there, she’ll be devastated. From what she’s heard from socialite gossip, his whole left side is scarred, but others say he’s been burnt to a crisp, and she doesn’t know what to think. She knows better than to believe the random words of some stranger on the streets, but that doesn’t help the anxiety she’s feeling.

It doesn’t stop her, though. She holds onto every rumor she hears, like her’s and Zuko’s lives depend on it. Unfortunately her firm grasp on the public’s opinions leaves scars, because every rumor _hurts._ It’s all talk of how Zuko wasn’t worthy of being Fire Lord, how he went down a coward. Even if in reality he was a scared child who didn’t want to fight his father in an intense battle. 

She wonders if she took the moments she had with Zuko for granted, if she cherished them enough. If the friendship she offered to him was enough. She doesn’t know if she’s ready to let their friendship go, but it’s not like she has much of a choice. If he were coming back, he'd have returned by now - that is, if he even survived the duel.

In the end she’s left to watching the outside world move on from her window, with a blank stare and worried mind.

Her life seems gloomier than it did before.

***

Zuko’s absence weighs heavy on her, on everyone who cared about him. Though it seems like Mai is the only one who still cares. The world continues to spin, even if someone leaves. The thought that she’ll never see him again is hard to stomach. There’s no one who she can talk to about it, either. Her parents are firm believers in keeping your emotions to yourself, Zuko is well...gone, and Azula would call her weak for it. There’s no wise person who she can ask for advice from, not since -

Come to think of it, Iroh hasn’t been around either. Not that she cares much for him, but he and Zuko left at the same time; perhaps they left together. 

Azula isn’t very fond of the man. She perceives him as a weak general that failed his nation and influenced her brother’s treasonous behavior. From what Mai could gather, Fire Nation people aren’t big fans of the Dragon of the West either. If she were to guess, Mai would think Azula sees him as a menace; a threat to the throne that she’s “guaranteed” to.

Every year that passes without him it hurts a bit less, and at the same time a bit more. The initial pain of his disappearance dulls, but the fact that _he still isn’t back, maybe he won’t ever come back_ remains. 

She can’t tell which hurts worse.

***

Azula is...different, since Zuko’s disappearance. More cruel. Less forgiving, even though Azula’s forgiveness has always been a double edged sword. She and Ty Lee listen to every offhand comment about how, “This is why Zuzu would have made an _awful_ Firelord, you know,” and watch how her fists clench ever so slightly when someone else says it. They pretend not to notice. Azula pretends she doesn’t care.

They all change as the years pass. Azula grows harsher, burns hotter and laughs less. Ty Lee’s smile becomes a little faker, and she and Mai exchange silent looks behind Azula’s back. An alliance of sorts. Not exactly a promise, but a confirmation of _we’re in this together._ Mai looks at the knives she’s buried up to their hilts in the target. It wouldn’t be like this with Zuko. She’s not sure how, but it’s a fact she locks away in her head nonetheless. _Azula is volatile. It’s safer to care less. Things would be different with Zuko._

She knows he’s been banished - heard the gossip from nobles, merchants, servants - but she doesn’t really know why, or where, or if he’ll ever come back. There’s a gap that he’s supposed to fill wherever she goes. It grows fainter with time, but it still remains, like impressions left in unhardened cement.

The rumours around what happened to him in the Agni Kai die down, and attention quickly shifts to something else. Another day, another scandal. Mai indulges herself sometimes, and wonders what his father really did to him. It never lasts for long.

In the end, she never asks Azula; she’s decided she doesn’t want to know.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y’all, so this is one of the many collaborations Lu and I are going to be doing, so stay tuned I guess hdhjhjdhjd. This was a lot of fun (even if I couldn’t kill Azula :/) This is your reminder to drink some water. Have a great morning/afternoon/night bbbbyyyyyyeeeeeeeee!!
> 
> go bother me on tumblr - [xvivon](https://xvivon.tumblr.com/)
> 
> go bother lucy on tumblr (and in general) - [houser-of-stories](https://houser-of-stories.tumblr.com/)
> 
> _Xenia why do you always want to m*rd*r the children-_  
>  because child death is fun >:)  
>  _*insert long suffering sigh*_


End file.
